At what point did I start to believe that my legs had to serve a purpose for others to be worthy of existing? Maybe it was the moment I realized all the white 7th grade girls were wearing size 0 and I was wearing size 8. “There must be a reason I am so much bigger than everyone else,” I thought to myself. I found out my legs were great to win track meets. I used my body as a tool to win competitions for others. I was praised for my natural talent and I chased that approval So much so that by 10th grade I had my first torn hamstring, which would lead to a lifetime of rehabilitation and legs that weren’t as useful to others as when they were totally healthy. When college was over and my big legs no longer served a purpose for anyone, I turned to bodybuilding to once again find an answer to explain why my legs had to be so much bigger than everyone else’s. I was told I had good “genetics'' to win competitions. And so again my body became a tool to win things for others. But when did I decide my legs could exist without meaning anything to anyone? Was it the disordered eating I developed that made me quit bodybuilding? Was it trying to sprint again only to find my legs couldn’t move that quickly anymore without hurting myself? No. It was the moment I realized that my whole life I had been comparing my body to the bodies of the white girls I was surrounded by. I didn’t have to sell my body to athletics anymore for my body to be worthy of existing. I didn’t have to explain away the size of my legs anymore. I could just be. My legs just are. My body can exist without an explanation.